Written by: Rick Staggenborg, MD on Mar 2, 2010 7:37 AM PST
The story of the female passerby who was clubbed viciously for trying to defend herself passively against an assault by a uniformed fascist made me want to see him suffer, but neither William nor I would be of help to others is we had been there and let anger destroy our reason. We cannot afford to let our best and brightest be made examples of by those who staged this assault against the people. They would not hesitate to use the full force of what passes for the law in this country to harass and intimidate us.
Unlike me, she is patient and has always trusted that God will show her the way to her goals. It took me forty years of wandering in the wilderness before I realized that the answer to my pain was right before my eyes the whole time. I just had to open them to see that I was the cause of all my own pain. Once I realized that believing in God was not the same as giving in to superstition, I took the leap of faith and chose to accept in both my heart and mind that it was possible that God existed. Once I looked at the world with open eyes, the proof was everywhere around me.
With apologies to Jackson Brown, here is my song for my brother Michael, an angel among us:
Though Michael was a friend of mine, I did not know him well.
I was alone into the distance, I was deep into my well.
Together we went travelling as we received the call,
His destination any bed, while I got none at all.
I can still remember laughing with our backs against the wall,
So free of fear we never thought that one of us might fall…
I sit before my only candle, but it’s so little light to find my way.
Now my story unfolds before my candle,
which is growing ever shorter as it reaches for the day.
Now, I feel just like a candle in a way.
I guess I’ll get there, but I couldn’t say for sure.
When we parted we weren’t laughing still as our goodbyes weren’t said
and I rarely talked to him again as each our lives we led,
except at times in some of our mother’s letters I read,
until I heard the sudden word that my brother was found dead.
I sit before my only candle,
like a pilgrim sits beside the way.
And my journey appears before my candle, like a song that’s growing fainter
the harder I play,
till I fear before it ends I’ll fade away.
I hope I get there but I’ll never pray. I’m sure.
Rick Staggenborg, MD
Coos Bay, Oregon